Saturday I was filled with delight when I weighed. I really wanted to lose 2 pounds so I could get to -60 but another number was also on my mind. I knew Saturday if I lost at least one pound I would be under 200lbs. This week I worked out 5 out of the 7 days weight training, stairs, and bike. I pushed myself to ride harder, ride longer, use my smaller weights less, and set a new record for myself on the stairs. I lost one pound Saturday. I was so excited a cried and screamed. It feels amazing to be under 200lbs. Just 21lbs to go!!!!! Wooo Hooo!!!
"Getting lost will help you find yourself."
It is an amazing quote. I have been thinking about this quote for the last few days. The words couldn't be truer. There have been several times in my life where I felt so lost and so alone. But it is often at that point, at the bottom, where we realize we need to change, where we learn the most about ourselves, and where we find ourselves. In the movie The Day the Earth Stood Still there is a great quote from the professor. He says, "But it's only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve. “ That’s how I feel about my divorce, my weight loss, several things in my life where I have hit rock bottom. But we do change; we do evolve if we choose to. Although my body has been shrinking I feel like my mind, heart, and spirit have expanded. I have gained so much knowledge just by listening, reading, learning, and teaching. Last night we had a training and one of my foster parents who has just finished all their initial foster parent training said, "Thank you so much for everything you do, you are amazing." I thanked her but she has no idea how much she and my other foster parents and foster children have taught me. Although I am the trainer they teach me. I have learned so much in the almost 8 in my job. My hope is that someone reading this will be inspired to change, to evolve at the precipice of their situation, at the brink, to change. Here's to change, here's to being lost then finding yourself.
The last month or so of my life has been crazy. With Spicer in the hospital, me sick, work, and other crazy stuff I have been really slacking on my exercise. I have decided to get back to working out 6 days a week. Monday I lifted weights, Tuesday I lifed weights, today I will be riding my bike, tomarrow lifting and maybe some yoga, friday bike, Saturday stairs and bike, and Sunday rest :) I think I had started to get comfortable with doing a minimal exercise and still loosing a pound every week. When I started this journey I made a commitment to health, weightloss is just a bonus. It shouldn't be commited to weightloss, health is just a bonus. My health should always be my focus. Afterall people lose weight all the time but it isn't always in a healthy way. I am glad I am doing this the right way.
Tommy and I have been cooking more and I am really enjoying it. Thursday night I was looking through my Mamaw's recipe box for a dessert for Sunday night dinner. I found a great one that was my Great Grandmother Bonnie's. You can take a look at the lighter version of her cake in the Cooking Lighter section of my blog. I was filled memories of Bonnie and my Mamaw and all the other people who have left this world. I decided I wanted to use my Great Grandmother Elizabeth's (everyone called her Mimi) china seen in the picture above. Then I started thinking about the phrase, "You are what you eat." I am what I eat. All these memories are attached to something food related. The cake, the china, the table that used to me my Mamaw's that we eat on every Sunday. Even the bundt cake pan was my Nannie's. I am so happy to have these memories and these items that anchor these memories. Last night I set out to find a picture of Bonnie at my parents’ house. In the course of that search I found lots of pictures that I ended up taking back home and scanning. It was amazing how vivid my memories were. The photos seemed to help them come alive. I was so excited about sharing the photos I stayed up late last night and scanned a ton of them. I plan to upload a few more later. Last night my mom gave me some wonderful Williams and Sonoma mixing bowls. I can't help but hope someday Spicer and his children and children's children will use my recipes, or my china, or my mixing bowls. Here's to memories!
With my weight loss journey and life change I have done a lot of measuring. I weigh my food on my food scales, I measure food out with my measuring cups, and I weigh myself every week. I noticed today when I was updating my site that I am almost to -60lbs. That's 3/4ths of the way to my ultimate goal of 80 pounds. I am 15 weigh-ins away from my one year mark. Wow! Time flies doesn't it? I am not sure why this struck me so much today but it did. Last night I found myself down on my weight loss as I sometimes do. Tommy has lost a tremendous amount of weight, he has lost about 20 pounds more than me. So naturally when people see us together they tend to notice his weight loss far more than mine. I won't lie; this drives me up the wall!!! And why has Tommy lost more weight? Most of you to be sweet would say, "He's a man dear" and although that is some part of it the number one reason is he works harder than me. It's true, he exercises more than me. There are some days as a single mom, busy job, and life just get in my way and I can't exercise. I put in less, I get less, get it? See what I do to myself? This is supposed to be a celebratory blog about being 3/4ths of the way to my goal and I am not even half-way through the blog and comparing myself to others and being down on myself. This might be a little insight into why I was overweight. I am my own person, I have my own journey. Should it matter that Tommy has lost more weight? No but...and it's that BUT that snags me. Now back to that almost 60lbs I have lost. I am just over 20lbs of reaching my goal. 20lbs????!!!!!!??? Some days that seems like a super easy goal and other days it seems like the hardest task ever. So I have a new short term goal for this last leg. I am going to try to lose at least 5 pounds every month. That will put me reaching my goal by the end of February. That is a month later than my original goal of one year but this isn't a race. It is a change I will be making for the rest of my life. This is the final stretch, I'm almost there! As of my weigh-in today I am at 200lbs. Amazing! I am one pound away from being under 200lbs!!! Here’s to being almost 3/4ths there!!!