If I can loose two pounds this week I will reach 50!!   I really want to make it to -50 this week.  I know it wont be the end of the world if I don't but I really hope I do.   I talked yesterday about how happy I was when I saw my shadow and I also said how easy it is for me to go the other way and HATE my body.  Today at my co-worker's baby shower and as we were leaving I heard someone say, "When are you due?"  I thought she was talking to me.  Suddenly all my fear and body hate came rushing back.  I wanted to just cry.  Then I realized...she was talking to my co-worker who is 8 months preggers not me.  It is amazing how quickly all those old fears can come rushing back.  I hope as I loose more weight and get used to a smaller body I will have less and less of these episodes and learn to be ok in my own skin. 


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